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... she thought about you like you put the stars in the skies. She never talked like that to others. She tried to keep talking about you at a minimum. She didn't share her love and happiness with anyone. Even not with her closest people. For she knew they wouldn't understand. Not a single word. For she was just a little girl.
Before she met you she used to secretly laugh at girls like that. Mainly because she saw what her friends in love haven't. They were blinded by love. You can only see a lovers foolish behaviour when you aren't the one.
But also you were different than others.
Maybe that was the reason the girl with the heart of stone fell for you. You weren't the best looking one. Raised in a good family. An only child. A young adult seeking for true love. For a beautiful girl who wouldn't leave. A wife for life.
You liked her. You found her beautiful. She was what you were looking for. Long haired, big eyed with a perfect smile and lips to kiss. A skin without a single flaw. Not short but still shorter than you. Not fat but no skeletton. Maybe she could be a bit skinnier. Maybe 3-4kg. But what was more important... she came from an educated family, had good marks and was simply honest. She didn't mind your short legs, you not having good skin or a good body. She liked you and talked to you like the two of you were equal.
Never have you thought of a girl like her to be yours. But she became.
When you walk on the streets with her you see people stare. You told her it's because of the very unusual mix of ethnicity you two have. She agreed. Abd yes that might have been one reason. But you knew it wasn't for that. People asked themselves why such a girl would go out with such a guy.
Not a single minute did she think like that.
Before she met you she had an ideal of a guy. Too unusual for others to understand and it wasn't just because of love and romance... There was more behind those more or less superficial ideals. But the moment she got to know you she did what she never did before. She said prayers... whatever would happen make this guy stay and be faithful. She promised not to leave either for she knew there is no better man than you. And she wasn't wrong. You were such a man. You were because those were your ideals of a man. You claimed to be that because you didn't know who you are at that time.
You never had a deep relationship like that before. You hadn't experienced a girl loving.
As time went on you changed.
Never have you been unfaithful. But you changed. You stopped caring. You got used to have that girl. No you didn't stop loving her but started to take her for granted. And she stayed. Never left. She didn't want to break her promise she made. It is normal. People get used to each other in a relationship after a while. Indeed. It is healthy. It ain't good to stand under pressure in a relationship 24/7.
So it is good to relax and enjoy being accepted in that way. Yes.
But that doesn't mean you don't have to care about her feelings anymore. That doesn't mean talking to her everyday is all you have to do. That means you are accepted with your flaws. But it also means you should be there for her when she needs it. Not only because you feel you have to be, but also because you actually love her although you have her for so long. Again, even IF you have to force yourself to do those things, do them. If you claim to love someone, if you want to keep them in your life you have to be constantly be active.
The secret of a healthy relationship is being there when needed while feeling accepted with your flaws.
After all of these years... she tried to ignore that... she might finally open her eyes to see that indeed there are good man. And if one isn't able to give her what she deserves after all she had done for him, she is an idiot for sticking around.
Yes love makes blind. But love isn't everything in life. Maybe a stabile relationship with a person one doesn't love is preferable over one where both love each other but don't seem to get what they expect.
It is ok. You might be older than her, but still at the beginning you were young. You overestimated your abilities. That doesn't make you a bad person.
Life goes on and love is overrated.